The Tower card represents my life right now. As violent as it looks, it can be a good place. It means that structures that no longer work for me are being distroyed, dismantled and burned to the ground. I welcome the change. I've been here many times as I've wandered my path. Family, friends, drinking, work, health and nature have all fallen hundreds of times.
My first tower was built to protect me from the energies of the world around me. To protect me from being consumed by the sadness and confusion I saw at every turn. I built the wall as solidly as I could. Then drinking brought it down to rubble. I quickly picked up the rubble and built it up again. But this time, a little bit of light passed through the broken gaps. The walls were still strong but some light got in.
Over time the walls fell again and I built them up again. Each time a little more light passed through the shattered stone. Sometimes they fell when I realized something good about myself and it broke through the tower of self-tortured illusions. Sometimes it fell when the realization of loss reared its ugly head. Today its falling because I realize I want to go home. I want to be free from the cycle of destruction and resurrection.
I'm being freed from this tower so I can go home. It's a much shorter fall, the stones aren't that big anymore. I'm tired of my own bull and I'm ready to let go. I want to come home to myself and come down from the dingy ivory tower I thought was the life I was supposed to live. I'm sure when I arrive I'll build another tower of sorts out in my own psychic backyard. No, perhaps I'll build a gazebo instead. That way I get the structure but the light still comes in.
