Lately, folks have let me know that they are reading my blog. I feel a bit like Sally Field's great Oscar speech, "you like me...you really like me." It's funny that at this time in my life, I've come to realize that what I have to say has some meaning for others. All the struggles and pain, ups and downs and what feels like a million failures, can be transformed by writing my thoughts and knowing that others connect with them.
Hubby and I were talking about ordinary things and the power of seeing them in a different light. For example, we talked about a simple thing like housework can lead to an exploration of what attitudes we have towards cleaning, where those attitudes came from, what we feel about it now and how our feelings have changed. I grew up on an Air Force base, with military, white glove approach to cleaning. Geoff's family was completely opposite. Growth for me is letting things stay messy and growth for Geoff is keeping thing neat. It turned out to be a wonderful expression of the yin and yang of life. The lessons we can teach one another and the ways we can understand and tolerate the other person's behaviour because now we understand why they act the way they do.
I think we look too far for spiritual answers. Books, groups and theologies all help but on a day to day level what do we do? My spiritual metal is tested when Geoff leaves his dinner plate on the coffee table and his is tested when I'm freaking out about the state of the closets before my mom arrives. How do we handle ourselves and what do we say to one another? My ideals of life may be high, I may realize that my hubby and I are together to balance our karma and we are meant to heal, but I'll go into a screaming frenzy about unfolded towels. Every day this is a lesson. One I often need to relearn.