My world is greeted everyday with the knowledge of several
lifetimes, not in the reincarnation sense of past lives, but as a creature that
renews herself daily. Perhaps this is what you feel like as you get older. I’ve
heard that your body changes every seven years and if that is so I’m entering
my 6.9th year of renewal. Maybe it’s just the compound interest due to the
passage of time or the evolution from child to maiden to mother then crone. I
don’t know but I think I’m beginning to get it.
The feeling of missing out on the mothering part of womanhood is
finally dimming. I see that fundamentally my nature is to nurture and even
though I didn’t raise children I’ve spent the greater part of my life raising
people's spirits. Where mothers sacrificed themselves for their children I sacrificed
myself to meet the needs of others. I used to think that this sacrifice wasn’t
good enough but now that I find myself looking into the eyes of other women I
seen we are in the same place. We have all given parts of ourselves away. We
are all seeking ourselves.
Now I find myself
walking beside family and friends as they move through the changes in their
lives and, unlike any time before, I feel a kind of spiritual detachment. I
think I get the meaning of that famous Albert Camus quote “Don't walk behind
me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.” Life has given me the stamina for the journey. I’m
not playing catch up or chasing after dreams that aren’t mine.
That's all for today.
Nice to see you here again, Kelly.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lori. From you blog it looks like you might be feeling the same shift too.
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